Have you ever heard people say “timing is everything” or “that was perfect timing” and majority of the time I believe them. And when it boils down to it – I do think timing plays a part in our lives. But when you really stop and think about it, is perfect timing really a thing? Let’s dig into my thought on this and see if you agree or what you think!
Maybe it’s really just a coincidence? Or maybe everything individually has its own timing that when they come together we think it’s THE perfect timing.
Or maybe on the opposite side, after a conversation with someone you think “I shouldn’t have said that” or maybe “I should have said _____” When it’s the perfect time, it all just flows effortlessly.
Looking back, I’ve always thought of perfect timing in a selfish way, it was always something I wanted or thought I needed. And if it didn’t happen I’d get frustrated, and eventually stress about wasting time/thinking that this situation wasn’t right for me. It could be something in work life, like why I wasn’t getting a promotion or raise. Or personal life, why isn’t my relationship going how it “should,” or why I didn’t have more money saved.
And then I’d always go back to the realization, that 1. Time isn’t guaranteed and 2. We literally have zero control over the majority of the things we lay there in bed and stress about. And trying to make something work for you, will make it worse and majority of the time, it’s not the right time.
Thinking this way helps me be more optimistic and more easy going. Though I am both in nature, it’s easy for me to get lost in rabbit holes down my head and overthink or think of the most negative outcome. I started to focus my mindset on when it’s the perfect time, it will come, even if in specific moments it’s hard to see.
From then on, I learned to just go along with life, roll with the punches if you will, which has helped me to live in the moment, do what I feel is best at that exact time, and just see what happens! I applied this to many aspects of my life.
At work
Back in 2019, I left my agency job in Boston, MA that I had so much fun at and learned a lot and moved back to San Diego, CA where I thought I was going to find my “perfect” job, and I made the commitment to myself that the job I accepted at that time, I was going to be passionate about it. It was going to be my next career move. Having a background in hospitality, sales, and now marketing left me with a lot of different career path options. I wanted to do hotel marketing (because I love to travel and create content, hence why I have Blonde out of Water as a side hustle/passion) but I was thrown an opportunity to be a sales manager at a hotel.
Like I mentioned, this job was going to be my passion and that’s exactly what I made it. I worked with a great team, gave my 110%, and worked hard. Fast forward to March 2020 when COVID hit, my hotel closed its doors and I got furloughed.
I was furloughed from the end of March – end of June, and at that point my sales job had no intention of bringing me back at any time soon. I took a job doing social media and marketing at a different hotel, gaining more knowledge now on the hotel marketing side of things vs marketing at an agency.
Fast forward to the second wave of COVID, I was furloughed again. Two hotels in one year, is that a joke? But again, my mindset of rolling with it came in and we decided to see what was going to happen.
Then the hotel I initially worked at, had a marketing job open which was what I wanted to do initially. Perfect timing…?
When I look back on everything from taking the job, getting furloughed, starting a marketing position at a different hotel, navigating the hospitality industry during the COVID-19 pandemic, to finally getting to the hotel, job, and team I loved – it all happened exactly how it was supposed to, and if that’s not “perfect timing” then I don’t know what is. That alone reconfirmed that timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
The takeaway: jobs are important, and often go hand in hand with happiness. It’s hard to put any trust in timing when you’re unhappy at a job or just feeling stuck in a role. And yes, being proactive is being smart but also trust the timing and that it will all work out.
In relationships
I think every girl has watched enough shows growing up from the OC, to One Tree Hill and enough rom-coms to want a relationship, and that doesn’t mean you’re the classic looking for someone else to “complete you” kind of want (at least in my case) but more so to connect with someone else on a romantic and intimate level and to experience life together. Looking back on my past relationships, I have to think every guy (good or bad) has been in my life for another reason or another.
Looking at my current relationship, it has to be perfect timing, or the closest thing I’ve ever seen. I had dated someone who wasn’t the best for me, and that where I just thought “that’s what you have to compromise to be in a relationship” and “that’s just how guys are.” It led me to finally realize what I wanted and didn’t want in a partner….and what I deserve. I was perfectly content with being single, had a lot of fun with friends, focused on my career, my blog, and a lot on myself, my mental health, and living intentionally. I didn’t really have an interest in being in a serious relationship, and was ready to date casually.
I downloaded allllll the dating apps, went on dates, had fun, and then it got to a point where I was happy. I even got a few messages on Instagram saying I looked happier, like what! I turned my casual dating into looking for something a little more consistent than that – more looking for something more serious than casual but unsure what that looked like.
And then I went on a first date, and just knew it was different from the million (yes, I’m exaggerating) other first dates I had gone on. From that date on to the next, next, so on – it was easy, it was fun, and it was everything I needed. I think looking back the timing was perfect, on both sides. And that’s really the only way to describe it because now I’m all day everyday heart eye emojis. Fast forward years later, we’re engaged with a baby on the way.
The takeaway: While talking to my friends (whether they’re single or not), I always stress the importance of “wait for the perfect time” or “it will happen when the time is right”. Whether it hurts to hear that or not, I really believe in it and that could be when the next step of a relationship is going to happen or when you’ll meet your next significant other. At the end of the day, you need to trust in the timing of your life…trust you are where you’re meant to be in that exact moment, and trust that life will bring you what you need/want when you are ready. Don’t let a relationship define you and don’t live like you need to check off boxes with a timeline.
Moving Cross Country and Back
I grew up in San Diego, and loved it. I loved my life, my friends, the easy going beach life – really it all. I was in a previous relationship and it was decided that we moved to Boston. And I truly believed that I was young, so why not try out a new city.
From growing up in the state where the average year round temp was 72 degrees F to moving to a city where there was a winter threw me for a loop. But the city itself was amazing, Boston’s food scene, the love for their sports teams, the aggressive drivers, the hustle and bustle, and the people.
I went through high highs and low lows while living in Boston, but I made some of the best friends there, learned a lot both personally and professionally, and I can say that it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I can also say that moving back to San Diego (though it was a hard and spur of the moment decision) was also one of the best decisions I ever made.
The takeaway: I don’t think I would be who I was without living that New England life. I think it helped shape me into the person I am today. I trusted the timing (though not necessarily at the time) and had no choice but to roll with the punches. Sometimes, life will give us what we need, not what we want.
Timing. It’s a weird concept. Does “perfect timing” really exist? Personally, I do think so. It may not be perfect in the way you think of it or want it to go, but I would say it’s definitely something where the saying “whatever happens, happens” comes into play and “trust the timing of your life”. I also think that looking back on your life, you’ll see in hindsight that it all did work out, eventually. Especially once you start going with it instead of trying to force things.
What are your thoughts on the idea of perfect timing? Let me know!
~ XOXO, the believer in “perfect timing”, Amanda // Blonde out of Water
