I recently listened to Rachel Hollis’ RISE podcast episode, how to choose joy (yes, even today) with Rachel Hollis & Gretchen Rubin, and like most of what Rach says, it resonates with me. In today’s world, it’s hard to find joy and happiness. We’re all affected one way or another by COVID19 and it’s a hard season of life for the majority of people. In this podcast, Rachel Hollis posed the question to bloggers, “how do the 4 tendencies show up in a time like this?” which led me to write this blog. Let’s unpack that and go into what the 4 tendencies are, how they relate to enneagrams, and this season in general.
First things, first
How do you reach for joy and happiness in a hard season? What does it look like for me?
I’m not one to be able to sit at home for an indefinite amount of time. I have to move, I have to keep my mind busy. I’ve been focusing on health – from sleeping and moving. I go to bed at a normal hour and set an alarm every day. I make sure to not be socially distant even if we have to be physically distanced. And I make sure to get outside and move, every single day.
Yes, I’ve gone through cupboards, closets, baked all the recipes, cleaned, and organized all the things. But why? As silly as it sounds it keeps me busy and most importantly it keeps my mind busy.
I’ve had the ups and downs of COVID19, which Gretchen Rubin talks about the importance of emotional contagion. I think I’ve been aware of this even without knowing it was a thing. We pass emotions back and forth to who we’re surrounded by. Whether that be friends, family, or significant others. I always try to be intentional with my emotions for my wellbeing as well as those around me. Thinking like, “Why am I in a bad mood? How can I change that so everyone around me doesn’t get into a bad mood?”
I also believe that sometimes you just have to let yourself be. Be in the bad mood for a while then bring yourself back – is there anything I can do to bring myself back up? It’s a constant battle, roller coaster, what have you – have to work at it and it will never come easy, but I do believe it’s always SO worth it.
How an Enneagram Plays Into This
My enneagram is a 2w3 which means I’m a 2 with a 3 wing. Okay, but what does that mean? Overall, I’m a helper but also an achiever.
“They are outgoing and self-assured, sacrificing their time to focus on others. They do best in environments that encourage collaboration and set big goals for helping the community. Strengths that are typically associated with the Enneagram 2w3 personality include…
- Optimistic world-view and upbeat attitude
- Building deep, personal connections
- Being adaptable in stressful situations
- Communicating clearly and effectively
- Passion for serving others”
I think during this time I have to be optimistic – that our world will get back to normal (hopefully) sooner rather than later, even if the normal is different than what we’re used to. I have no problem focusing on others and will happily do my best to make people I love happy.
Want to find out what enneagram you are? Take the enneagram quiz here.
The Four Tendencies
Gretchen Rubin talks about in multiple podcasts (including this one) and they are Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. This made me take her quiz to find out which of the four tendencies I am and my dominant Tendency is Obliger. This means, according to the four tendencies, that I can meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet inner expectations. I’m also known to self-sacrifice. I wouldn’t say that’s wrong.
Want to find out which of the four tendencies you are? Take the four tendencies quiz here.
This brings me back to why I am writing this whole blog post: “How the 4 tendencies show up in a time like this”
You bring in my enneagram – a helper and an achiever pair that with my obliger and you get me. I’ll go along with what I have to do, help others do what they have to (or want to do), and let others rely on me. That’s how I find my joy and happiness throughout this season of life.
My Takeaways on Choosing Joy
We have to reach for the highs and acknowledge the lows. Being vulnerable doesn’t mean you’re weak & lean on your support system, they’re there for a reason.
Now tell me, what brings you joy these days?!
~ XOXO, the joyful, Amanda